close your eyes and i'm right there
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: A collection of Jily oneshots: 4: Lily tells James she's pregnant
1. pea soup

"Pea soup _again_?"

The look on Lily's face quelled James's whining. "You know we can't leave the house. There isn't much left." Lily sighed, setting down her own bowl and taking a seat at the small dining table. Harry sat in his highchair next to her, his short arms reaching for his own dinner. "We can try to go out and get some groceries tomorrow, I suppose…"

James gave her a half-smile. "Pea soup is wonderful." He ate a spoonful in demonstration, promptly burning his mouth and hissing at the temperature. James dropped the spoon into his bowl, some of the green soup splashing out onto the table. Harry watched him, head cocked to one side before he started laughing at his dad's mishap. Lily smirked, picking up a knife and slicing the loaf of bread, giving them each a piece – Harry's, she broke up into small pieces which he happily grabbed and threw across the table.

Chucking but trying not to visibly encourage him, James held one of Harry's remaining pieces of bread to the boy's lips, getting him to eat something. He smiled, ruffling the kid's black hair. It was so like his own. James looked over at Lily. "We've got to give this kid a good life, Lils."

She merely sighed, nodded. James missed the bright shine her eyes used to have, back when they were in school and not fighting a war or hiding from a murderer. He just wanted his life back, he wanted to be able to control _something_. But he wasn't sure what else he could do.

He watched as Lily dipped her bread into her soup. They were both getting so tired of eating the same things for every meal. Any magic they could do to stretch their food supply would just lower the quality, it wasn't worth it. If they were going to have pea soup every evening for a week, they were at least going to have pea soup with some flavor.

When Lily finally spoke, her voice was quiet, distant. She had the sleeves of her – or, rather, James's – maroon sweater stretched over her hands. "This war has to end soon. It will, won't it?"

"Has to," James said around a mouthful of bread. He tried to meet her eyes, but she was staring fixedly at the woodgrain of the table.

"I just… I feel so _useless_ , just sitting here, waiting it out."

"I know," he murmured. James stood up, pushing out his chair and coming around the table to stand behind Lily. He wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on hers as she clutched his arms close to her. "We just need to stay safe. For Harry," he added. He meant it as a sort of fortifying gesture, to strengthen their resolve. But there was a hint of guilt to it, too. James felt it as much as Lily did. They both wanted nothing more than for life to go on like normal, for them to wake up tomorrow morning and leave the house and spend the day out with their kid. But they both knew they couldn't – not safely, not without risk. And neither of them believed the risk to be worth it. Not when they looked over at Harry, sitting in his chair with pea soup smeared all over his face and bits of bread stuck in his hair.

So they stayed at home, day after day. James was sure he had every crack in the paint on the walls memorized, but if it meant keeping his child safe, he'd stay here the rest of his life.

"For Harry," Lily echoed, leaning over to clean up the mess he'd made with dinner. _Even after this war ends_ , she sighed to herself, _we're sure going to have our hands full with this one_.

 **.**

 **A/N: I've wanted to do a massive Jily!life AU for ages, and I thought about doing it in a long series of individual oneshots/drabbles and eventually compiling them together in some sort of chronological order. So. That's what I've got going right now, and that's what this goes with, I suppose.**

 **Also written for Writing Club: Character Appreciation 25: (relationship) Husband/Married; Cookie's Crafty Corner 6: (object) Knife; Showtime 8: (color) Black; Amber's Attic 3: (food) Pea soup; Count Your Buttons O1: Knife; Lyric Alley 14: I want to have control; Ami's Audio Admirations 14: (era) Marauders; Em's Emporium 7: (emotion) Bitter; Lo's Lowdown O1: Theme – Family; Seasonal – Days of the Month – Oct 19: Write about someone dissatisfied with their life but not knowing how to change it; Autumn Prompts: (word) Bright; Color Prompts: Maroon; Audrey's Dessert Challenge: Lily Evans; Dragons and Writing Month: wc 638**


	2. sleepless

Lily jumped.

"Sorry," Remus murmured as he walked into the room, a steaming mug in each hand. He handed one to Lily, putting his own down on the coffee table. Lily whispered a word of thanks as Remus sank down into the sofa beside her. It creaked slightly as he did, but then again, most things at headquarters creaked, or so it seemed. It was a nice place, Dorcas's house. Lily had been to visit a few times before it was overtaken by stray Order members at any given moment. The house was warm and inviting—it helped stave off the feelings of anxiety and helplessness that were so pervasive during the war. They didn't eliminate them completely, though.

Tearing her eyes away from the fireplace across the room, Lily looked down into her mug, then over at Remus. "No coffee?"

"Not for you. It's already midnight, and I know you're worried enough as it is. You don't need to be adding caffeine to the mix."

"Remus—"

He gave her a wry smile but didn't cave. "You can sleep if you need to, Lily. I'll wake you if anything happens, but you need to get some rest. When was the last time you slept through the night?" he asked softly.

Lily was quiet for a moment, running her thumb around the rim of the mug of hot chocolate. "Hogwarts?" she suggested, a feeble attempt at humor. Remus rolled his eyes.

"They'll be alright. James and Sirius have faced worse and come out on top. One run-of-the-mill mission won't stop them." Remus was trying to convince himself as much as Lily. His gaze wandered over to the smoldering firewood at the base of the fireplace. They should've gotten back already. Lily's worries weren't unfounded, but he couldn't let himself think these things. It wasn't going to help anything if he was paranoid. He took a sip of his hot chocolate, a marshmallow resting on top falling to his nose. Remus wiped his face as Lily spoke again.

"I just hate sitting here waiting, not knowing. If Dumbledore could just send me and James out on the same missions—"

"You know why he can't do that, Lily."

Lily scoffed. "That's just Dumbledore's theory, it doesn't mean anything."

"Do you really believe you'd be able to stay on task if you saw James get hurt? I know how scary it is being left here, not having a clue what's happening to them…" Remus's voice grew distant, faded out. He shook his head. "But he's right on this. You're both safer this way, that's what matters."

He was right, she supposed. Lily set her mug down on the coffee table before leaning forward, head in her hands. They'd survived worse before. But the longer the war continued, the weaker Lily felt, the more desperate. She just wanted to be with James. She wanted a normal life.

It was a half-hour later when the door to the sitting room swung open. James and Sirius shuffled inside, a bit battered up but still standing, still smiling. Lily was curled up against the arm of the sofa. Remus sat next to her, a book in one hand as he rubbed soothing circles into Lily's back with the other. He closed the book and stood when they entered, offering a tired smile.

"Just got back from Dumbledore. You two alright?" James asked Remus, who embraced Sirius.

"We're fine. How did it go? How are you?" He pulled James into a hug, too, before letting him go over to wake Lily.

Sirius answered. "It was pretty quiet until midnight rolled around. Nearly got ambushed before the Prewetts came to relieve us. But we're all fine. They got away," he added in a low growl. Sirius sank into the sofa beside James and Lily, who were wrapped tightly in each other's arms.

"I'm so glad you're alright," she breathed.

"I'm fine. Wish the same could be said for you, though. Time to go home to bed, I think. You look dreadful, darling."

She slapped him without any real force. "Git."

 **.**

 **A/N: Written for: Writing Club - Character Appreciation 14: (organization) Order of the Phoenix; Disney Challenge C6: Write about someone on the light side of the war; Cookie's Cooking Corner 2: Write about someone being left behind; Book Club – Nobody Owens: (emotion) lonely, (plot point) running late, (genre) friendship; Showtime 24: (emotion) nervous; Amber's Attic R1: Write about the Order of the Phoenix or Dumbledore's Army (Bonus); Count Your Buttons O1: Hot Chocolate; Lyric Alley 17: When you're not here; Em's Emporium 5: (time) midnight; Angel's Arcade 5: (character) Lily Evans, (word) theory, (trait) paranoid; Film Festival 10: (object) Hot chocolate with marshmallows, 11: (object) Firewood;**

 **Fortnightly – Bucket List 6: (word) Safe;**

 **Seasonal – Days of the Year – Nov 3: Write about someone that doesn't want to be a housewife; Autumn Prompts: (word) Scary; Elemental: (word) Breathe; Audrey's Dessert Challenge: (character) Remus Lupin; Ravenclaw Challenge: (trait) Sensible;**

 **Advent Calendar Day 3: (trait) Worried;**

 **Writing Month and Dragons: wc 682**


	3. break

"Ah, come on, you lot. Can't a man ever get some alone time in here?"

James heaved a sigh before looking across the room to see who was occupying the large bathtub. "Oh, it's you."

Lily glanced back at him but didn't make any moves to cover herself up further or get him to leave. "You sound disappointed?"

"Definitely not. I thought you were one of the other prefects. I was really hoping to avoid them. Don't tell anyone," James added, dropping his voice to a whisper. "But you're my favorite. Rarely want anything from me, competent enough to get your own tasks done. Quality Head Girl, if I do say so myself."

She rolled her eyes with a giggle. "You're ridiculous, Potter."

James hovered near the doorway, unsure whether to stay or go. Lily didn't clarify, just spoke from her spot in the center of the room. "Looks like we both had the same idea. Make it over to the Prefect's Bathroom during lunch for some peace and quiet. I'm not judging." Lily met James's look, comforting his awkwardness. "You have just as much right to judge me for midday bathing as I do to judge you. Unfortunately for you," Lily continued, and James could hear the smirk in her voice. "I thought of this two years ago. But I'm almost done here anyway."

He'd turned to leave, but at her last words, James spun back around to face Lily. Things between them were… _different_ this year. He wasn't sure how much of that change was because he was made Head Boy (and Lily, Head Girl) or because of the effects of their general maturations, but James wasn't complaining. He'd always had this fascination with Lily Evans. Since September, though, she'd actually had full conversations with him. She'd become more of a person to him. It was nice.

She was oblivious to his thoughts. "And here I thought OWL year was rough. NEWTs may just do me in."

James chuckled, dropping his bag over in a dry corner, toeing around the sizeable puddles of water on the floor around the tub. "Oh," she said as an afterthought. "Watch it, floor's slippery." Lily leaned her head back against the edge of the bathtub, her red hair swirling out around her in the water. Large, pale pink bubbles covered the water. She looked more relaxed than he'd seen her all year. Lily was right—NEWTs were taking a toll on the seventh years. Their professors had exceedingly high expectations, and with their new patrol duties nearly every night, paired with the fact that they were tasked with keeping the prefects in line, James hardly had time for sleep. He was sure it showed on his face.

"I don't even think it's the classes that are getting to me. Not as much as those fifth year Hufflepuff prefects…"

The sound of Lily's laugh echoed around the large room. She looked back over at him. "Exactly. I mean, it's nice that they care, but could they care just a bit less? Just enough to give me some time to breathe?"

He gave her a weak smile, which only brightened as she matched it. The stress, the tiresome lull that hung over them moments before seemed to lift.

Just when James was about to use the opportunity, Lily picked up her wand from the edge of the tub. With a wave and a murmured spell, the water started to drain and she was donned in a bathrobe. "I'll give you a chance to use this before afternoon classes start. See you tonight?"

"T—tonight?"

"Rounds, Potter." She grinned at him, making her way over to get dressed again before he'd managed to mutter any parting words.

 **.**

 **A/N: Written for Herbology Hangout: (word) Tiresome, (time) Midday, (setting) Prefect's Bathroom;**

 **Funko Pop – Scarlet Witch: 3: (color) Red, 4: (character) Lily Evans;**

 **Cheese Board – Figs: (dialogue) "You're my favorite.";**

 **Writing Club – Assorted Appreciation 9: Write about taking care of yourself;**

 **Disney Challenge S5: Write about a safe haven;**

 **Bex's Basement 13: You don't judge me, 'cause if you did, I would judge you too;**

 **Bath Bomb 21: Lily Evans, 35: James Potter;**

 **Fortnightly – Dry January H4: Write about something relaxing;**

 **Insane House Challenge 319: (pairing) James/Lily;**

 **365 Prompts: 149: Slippery;**

 **Seasonal – Days of the Year – Jan 8 Bubble Bath Day: Write about someone relaxing after a hard day/event;**

 **Elemental: (object) Bathtub;**

 **Winter in Japan – Onsen: Write about someone relaxing;**

 **Slytherin Challenge: (trait) Clever;**

 **Writing Month: wc 622**


	4. expect

Lily always picked at her fingers when she was nervous. It was a habit her mother had tried to get her out of for as long as Lily could remember. Nothing she'd ever done had worked, though. The skin around her thumb started to bleed by the time James had gotten home.

"Hey," he said, closing the front door behind him and making his way over to her.

Lily pulled her legs up onto the sofa, wrapping one arm around them and the other around James as he sat on her left. She leaned her head onto his shoulder. "I thought you'd be home hours ago."

James kissed the top of her head, pulling her into a hug. "Sorry, got stuck helping Remus. Finally finished moving all his things over to Sirius's new flat. It's about time they finally suck it up and live together, you reckon?" He'd been helping his friends rearrange furniture all day—his back was killing him, and his feet were throbbing. When James glanced back at Lily, all thought of his pain was gone. "Everything alright?" He shot a pointed glance at her abandoned tea cup, the liquid still filled to the brim.

"You know I always forget about my tea," she murmured. James rolled his eyes, raising an eyebrow. Lily avoided his eye contact but didn't move away from him. She swallowed. Her face was pale, drawn—more from the stress of war than anything. Or, at least, it usually was. Tonight, she knew her stress had a different source. "I'm fine."

"What happened?"

With a sigh, Lily looked up at James. Sometimes, she hated how well he knew her. She could never keep anything secret from him, not that she really wanted to. But right now, telling him what was on her mind was much harder than keeping it from him. James's eyes grew concerned, and Lily bit her lip. Now or never.

"I'm pregnant."

The words hung in the air for a long moment. James's gaze was focused somewhere above Lily's head. She frantically searched his face for any sign of a reaction. He normally was the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. It was off-putting now, Lily being unable to tell what he was thinking.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then a smile broke over his face. "Pregnant?"

"Pregnant."

"That's wonderful! A baby, blimey! We're going to be parents?"

Lily gave a weak chuckle. She wasn't sure how he could be this easily accepting of the concept. Having a baby at twenty, in the midst of a war was ridiculous. There was nothing but joy on James's face. It calmed her down a bit, in the way James had only ever been able to. She found herself smiling feebly back at him. "Parents. Even though I swear we just started Hogwarts yesterday. You can't convince me it's been eight years." Lily looked back down at her hands, running her finger over the side of her thumb. The skin there was broken and ragged; she itched to pick at it, but James put his hands on hers. He rubbed circles on her palms, then held her hands in both of his own.

"You're really excited about this?" she asked, unable to keep the note of skepticism from her voice.

"Really. Aren't you?"

She sighed again, squeezing his hands gently. "I will be, I'm sure. It's just…a lot."

James nodded. There was a knowing look in his eyes. It held a confidence so strong, it convinced Lily that they might be okay after all. With slightly shaking fingers, Lily held the band of her wedding ring. She twisted it nervously, feeling James's eyes on her.

"You're not alone here, Lils. I'm here for you, every step of the way. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know."

 **.**

 **A/N: Written for: Assignment 1: Religious Education Task 3: Write about a pregnancy;**

 **Cheese Board - Sauces: Garlic Dill Mustard: (object) Ring;**

 **Herbology Hangout: (emotion) Nervous;**

 **Writing Club - Assorted Appreciation 17: Write about someone expecting;**

 **Book Club - Chikako: (trait) Optimistic, (word) Pale, (drink) Tea;**

 **Amber's Attic 2: Write about having an important secret revealed;**

 **Bex's Basement 17: I got through all the pain;**

 **Seasonal - Days of the Year - Jan 26 Spouse's Day: Write about a married couple;**

 **Writing Month**

 **wc 636**


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